Emma O ‘Toole’s father left her family not once, but twice.

“We reconciled, and then (he) abandoned me for a girlfriend,” O’Toole said. She grew up without a father figure in fear of being denied his place. This fear persists into adulthood.”I’m a freelance yoga teacher, so I have to get clients, and when clients don’t renew their contract, I think it’s for me personally,” she said.

Thomas Slattin (Thomas Slatin), a 42-year-old interexual woman, recalled her earliest memories of unintegration.”For most of my life, I felt like an outsider, even surrounded by friends or family,” she said.

Zurlia Servellon is a 28-year-old digital entrepreneur who struggles with rejection while also being proud of herself. She believes this is due to previous trauma. “No matter how much I accomplished, I always felt like a failure. Nothing was ever enough,” she said. “I always wanted to impress others and was afraid of embarrassing myself in public.”

All three women explain their experiences with “rejection-sensitive anxiety disorder,” a term you may have heard on TikTok.

Dr. William W. Dodson, a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD, coined the phrase about five years ago, and researchers have since studied the phenomenon more closely. While Dodson says this is often an overlooked part of ADHD, you don’t need to have ADHD to struggle with it. On TikTok, the hashtag has been viewed more than 25 million times.

But is RSD a real diagnosis? What does it mean? Here’s some information about what it is and how to deal with similar feelings:

What is ‘rejection sensitive dysphoria’ and what are the signs your sensitivity is affecting your mental health?

First, it’s important to note that RSD is not a mental illness or diagnosis. Angela Karanja, a psychologist and teen parenting expert and founder of Raising, explains that it’s a non-clinical term that helps describe “a variety of symptoms related to an extreme fear of rejection that can Causing pain and harm to bystanders and their relationships”. Outstanding teenager.

Symptoms of RSD include feeling easily embarrassed, overworking to please others, withdrawing from tasks to avoid embarrassment, emotional outbursts when feeling rejected, anxiety around family, low self-esteem, and feeling like an incompetent person. Karanja said that even when high standards are set, failure still occurs.

But rejection is hard for all of us. So what’s the difference? Or how can this phenomenon be separated from social anxiety?

“Most people don’t like the feeling of being disliked or rejected; however, people with RSD have a harder time recovering from rejection and experience overwhelming emotional reactions as a result,” says Rachel, a licensed psychologist at Thriveworks in Boston. explains Rachel Cavallaro, who specializes in mood disorders, trauma, depression and anxiety.

“The difference is that with social anxiety, the emotional response occurs more in anticipation of a social interaction, whereas RSD occurs after the interaction,” Cavallaro continued.

Social anxiety disorder is An actual diagnosis, whereas RSD is not. However, both can be maladaptive when they hinder your life and self-development.

How to cope with ‘rejection sensitive dysphoria’

If you think you’re experiencing RSD, Karanja first recommends seeing a psychologist. A professional can determine if you have co-occurring, diagnosable conditions and help you address its effects.

On your own, Karanja says you can also challenge negative self-talk by practicing the “Four Cs”:

Catching it: Being aware of self-destructive thoughts.

Coining it: Separating those thoughts from your own and calling them out.

Challenging it: Realizing those thoughts won’t make you feel better or help you.

Calibrating it: Thinking about how you want to think and respond next time.

Cavallaro recommends trying emotion regulation techniques to help you manage negative emotions and increase positive experiences. It’s about understanding your emotions, reducing your vulnerability, and reducing your pain. An important part of emotional regulation is self-soothing. Some activities you can try include aromatherapy, observing nature, listening to music, drinking tea, and using a weighted blanket.

Cavallaro also recommends mindfulness. Consider breathing exercises (such as inhaling and exhaling for four seconds while noticing how your body feels) or progressive muscle relaxation (tensing and releasing one group of muscles at a time). “In fact, progressive muscle relaxation helps train the body to relax…and shut down the fight-or-flight response,” Cavallaro says.

Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, such as reappraisal, can also be helpful. “After assessing the actual situation, replace negative thoughts like ‘My supervisor doesn’t like me’ with more accurate thoughts like ‘I’m a good employee and I haven’t received any negative performance reviews.’ If My supervisor was upset, most likely because of something else rather than anything I did,” Cavallaro said.

O’Toole has been working to change her views and can attest to how much that helps. She realizes she can’t please everyone or be compatible with everyone, and that’s okay. “Be aware of what negative thoughts can do to your body and change it,” she says.”This is my lifeline.”

Slatin turned to loved ones for support. “I have a very close friend who I can call or text anytime, his name is Chris,” Slatin said. “My wife Amelia is my main source of support and her unconditional love keeps me grounded and helps me focus.”

Severon turned to helpful books, a sales job to help her build a strong character, and therapy for her mental health.

“At first, it was very difficult to be rejected by people every day, but slowly, I started to build confidence and eventually became the number one salesperson at the company I worked for,” Severon said. “I started my own business when I felt confident enough and began to view rejection as feedback and redirection that helped me grow.”