Desiree Wiercyski is a life coach and psychologist who cultivates a fierce persona on Instagram.She shares advice, inspiration and selfies with her more than 2,000 followers almost daily.But a year ago, posting on Instagram would have been almost unthinkable for her.
Wilciski suffers from social anxiety disorder and nearly panicked when she first started using social media.
“I would get really anxious about little things, like commenting on a friend’s post,” she recalls.”My heart rate would be up, I would be sweating. It really felt like an extension of being in a room full of people.”
Maybe, to some extent, you can understand.After all, most of us are a little shy around new people, or just don’t like to be judged.But for the 15 million adults affected by social anxiety, these feelings of shyness or fear of being judged are much more severe and even paralyzing.
“Social anxiety is a mental, physical, and emotional state of intense discomfort, tension, and even fear that occurs in social situations,” says Teodora Pavkovic, a psychologist in New York City. She explains Says people with social anxiety disorder fear being humiliated in front of others or doing the “wrong” thing.
Now, in an age where technology allows us to communicate more, if not most, with the click of our fingertips, it may seem easier for those with social anxiety to interact with others.In some ways, it is.But the internet — and social media in particular — can also bring new stressors and deeper feelings of isolation, creating a double-edged sword for people with social anxiety.
On the plus side, Pavkovic said, social media can provide people with social anxiety a “safe place” to step away from direct face-to-face conversations in a way that makes them feel comfortable. Post your own information.
“Social media helps me express myself in a way that I wouldn’t normally do in person,” explains Philtrina Farquharson, a PR professional who suffers from social anxiety.“I can say or do whatever I want and be free and have no immediate consequences, unlike in a social setting.”
Life coach Wysicki had to overcome her own discomfort with social media to discover its benefits.She started taking small steps, like liking posts from companies or well-known influencers.”Then I started commenting and started really building a community,” she said.“I’ve built a whole new community of people I know, trust, support and support me.”
But because people with social anxiety disorder may be preoccupied with the impression they make on others, they tend to worry excessively about how they will be judged online, Pavkovic explains.As a result, people with social anxiety disorder tend to be passive users of social media—meaning they observe rather than post.
“They will scroll through other people’s profiles and photos without leaving comments or posting content of their own, and appear to prefer to communicate privately via social media, such as through direct messages,” she said.
However, these online connections cannot replace the benefits of offline friendships, Pakovich explained.
“Even virtual connections still require a certain level of back-and-forth communication, and based on what we know about people with social anxiety disorder’s use of social media, they may not be able to provide enough information to build a strong enough virtual friendship,” Pakovich explains.
“Science convinces us that humans need direct, vivid, face-to-face connections with other human beings in order to grow and develop and reach our full potential,” she said.
Research shows that heavy use of social media may prevent people from having face-to-face interactions.”Some of our data shows that people spend time online to avoid possible interactions,” explains Thomas Rodebaugh, a researcher at Washington University in St. Louis. Pursuing these interactions is key to overcoming anxiety about social interactions, he said.
Finally, social media can make people with social anxiety feel even more invisible.While we all experience FOMO, or “fear of missing out,” those with social anxiety disorder may relate to this feeling.
Jenna Salerno, a content writer for a tech company who also suffers from social anxiety, said that in the past she spent too much time on social media and was too focused on putting her Compare your life to the lives of others.
“On Friday night, as I lay in bed alone scrolling through the news and watching my friends go out, I felt alive,” she said.
She now uses social media less and less.“I find it’s more important to spend time with real-life people than just watch,” Salerno said.
Wiercyski’s advice to others dealing with social anxiety in a tech-centric world: “Like most things in life, the basic rule is, if it doesn’t make you feel better, or you find that’s who you are Everything you can think of, then it’s time to think about it. Break,” she said.
If you realize you feel worse after using social media, or you just don’t like how much time you spend on social media, those are red flags you may need to cut back, Rodebaugh says.But know that reducing your reliance on social media (like giving up sugar, alcohol, or smoking cigarettes) is not an easy task, Pavkovic said.
First and foremost, she suggests, focus on “reconnecting with people and nature.”“Start by scheduling quality one-on-one time with friends, even if it’s just one friend at a time.”
Next, try some science-backed “brain hacks” that may help reduce your device use, Pavkovic says.Some examples: turn off all notifications to avoid those distracting “pings,” change your phone screen to grayscale to reduce visual stimulation, or place your phone in an adjacent room so it doesn’t draw your attention ( Even if the phone is turned off)!).
Wiercyski said that several times a month, she gets anxious while scrolling through her Instagram feed and comparing what she sees to her own life.”That’s when I know it’s time to call it a day,” she says, “even if it’s just for the evening and focus on other things, like hanging out with friends or reading a book.”
Where To Find Support And Help
The internet isn’t just a scary place for those with social anxiety.This is also the place to find help.There are many online resources that provide information, resources, and connections with others dealing with social anxiety.
If you have social anxiety disorder or you are interested in learning more about how to support someone with social anxiety disorder, check out the following organizations:
Social Anxiety Institute: This Facebook group shares advice, tips and more information about social anxiety.Their mission is to help people overcome social anxiety disorder by teaching them to think rationally and to use specific cognitive and behavioral strategies to reduce and overcome each symptom of social anxiety.
Social Anxiety Club: Another Facebook group that gives people with social anxiety a place to meet and talk with others who are dealing with the same issues.Group Rule No. 1: Be kind to each other.
Jed Foundation: The Jed Foundation (JED) provides teens and young adults with the skills and support they need to grow into healthy, thriving adults.If you need help right away, you can text “START” to 741-741 or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to speak with a professional mental health counselor.
Andrew Kukes Social Anxiety Foundation: Andrew Kukes, who suffered from social anxiety disorder and common depression, took his own life in 2009 at the age of 30.The foundation that bears his name aims to educate people with social anxiety disorder, health and education professionals, physicians, families and the public about the diagnosis and treatment of social anxiety disorder.
Anxiety and Depression Association of America: ADAA is an international nonprofit organization dedicated to preventing, treating, and curing anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and trauma-related disorders through education, practice, and research.
Talkspace: This is one of several new online therapy tools that allow anyone to get therapy without going to an office, and for much less money.
BetterHelp: Another private and affordable online counseling option, this service allows users to communicate with a licensed therapist at any time.
