Emotional independence and resilience are important components of happiness. If we always rely on others, we will never truly understand ourselves. By learning to accept ourselves, shift our thinking, and be true to ourselves, we will find inner peace and independence. Let’s see how to do it.

Accept Yourself

Know the benefits of accepting yourself. The main purpose of self-acceptance is to learn healthy techniques that can help you heal and let go of unpleasant memories and trauma. The ideal goal is to have healthier interactions in your current life. Other benefits of self-acceptance include:

• More confident
• Relieve anxiety and depression
• Reduce self-criticism and guilt
• Increase self-awareness
• Improve self-worth
• Make your heart calmer

Reflect on why you criticize yourself. Take some time to figure out why you have such a hard time accepting yourself. Try meditating, journaling, or just sitting quietly for a while and thinking about why you’re criticizing yourself. When you criticize yourself, try to identify whose voice is still in your ear. For example, have you heard from your parents, partner, friends, or others?

Look at the past from a different perspective. Many parents are not particularly successful in educating their children. Are they not good enough because they don’t love us or because we don’t deserve to be loved? of course not. It is difficult for children to understand this level. Sometimes parents do something wrong, but their intentions are good. Everyone makes mistakes. If their ways (not just your parents, but your ex’s) have caused you pain, don’t hold it in your heart. You should look at the past from a different perspective. Don’t get angry, hold grudges, or hold grudges against them. Try to understand them, and if they hurt you, learn to be compassionate and tolerant.

• Whether you are 7 or 70, chances are you are in some negative relationships. We tend to dwell on failures, arguments, disappointments, and rejections, always taking it personally. They also equate negative emotions with their value. Stop thinking this way. Because the past is in the past, there is no point in worrying about it.
• Develop your hobbies, spend regular time with family and friends, and learn how to make time for yourself in a relationship. This will help you maintain your independence in the relationship in a way that benefits both of you.

Forgive and forget. This goes hand in hand with looking at the past from a different perspective and is an important step in learning to accept yourself. When you no longer hold grudges and hold grudges, you will become a new person. You will have independent emotions and strong adaptability. And, you’ll be happier!

• The next time you feel depressed about someone, know that it’s not your fault. Other people’s decisions can only be made by others. You can’t influence other people’s decisions, but it doesn’t matter. The discomfort you experience is temporary, and time will make you forget it.
• However, it doesn’t mean that you just have to accept whatever comes your way. Forgive and forget, then change your expectations. If the person is an hour late for a date, don’t worry about it. But next time (if there is a next time), you don’t have to arrive early.

Spend time alone. Always surrounded by cell phones and other distractions, how long has it been since you had some quiet time alone? In this day and age, we are surrounded by temptations and distractions that prevent us from introspection and understanding our hearts. From now on, spend about 20 minutes every day alone. You are your own best companion, right?

• Pay attention to your thoughts when you are alone. What comes to mind? What do you think? Write down your amazing thoughts. Know yourself.

Know yourself. Just like letting an ant look in the mirror, the ant knows what he is. In addition to the steps above and below, you also need to know these:

• You are just as valuable as anyone else you know. You are not Superman, everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
• What are your talents and hobbies?
• What are your thoughts and preferences?
• What values and beliefs do you have?

Change Your Thinking

Self-examination. There are many ways we rely on others. The most common is love. We want love, sex, approval, etc. from each other. If you don’t get it, you will feel like there is something wrong or that you are not important. In what ways is your emotional dependence reflected? love? Friendship? Colleague or boss? Or with everyone you know? Answer the following questions to see where you need improvement:

• Are you jealous easily? Do you often compare yourself to others to the point that it affects your mood?
• Do you feel that others often fail to meet your expectations? Mainly who?
• You don’t like to be alone and would be more comfortable being with others? Or will you feel empty?
• Do you think people can be happy only if they have a lover?

When we blame others, they are wrong. It seems like only they can solve the problem. It’s terrible to think so. To take control of your thoughts and emotions, you must take responsibility for yourself.

• Rely on yourself to find solutions. Instead of sighing, you should actively think about how to improve the situation. In this way, negative emotions will not be able to invade your brain, and you will become more logical and self-controlled.

Don’t let yourself feel offended. What are you angry about? Others have the right to evaluate and criticize. It’s not a big deal, and it’s not the end of the world. This happens to everyone. The more you care, the more you make others proud.

• Remind yourself not to be emotional. It’s natural to be unhappy when you hear criticism, but it’s not the only option. Instead of being angry and sad, it’s better to be generous. Being angry won’t do you any good.

Happiness comes from within you. Serotonin and dopamine make you feel happy. If you want to make yourself happy just by looking at a brown rug, you can do it. The brain is amazing and interesting. You can decide whether you are happy or not, it has nothing to do with the outside world. Happiness comes from the inside out.

• In other words, you can control all your emotions. If you want it, you can do it. You can tune out emotions you don’t want to feel. Happiness is a decision.

Don’t overdo it. Being emotionally independent and being a jerk are not the same thing at all. Some people revolve too much around themselves and impose their ideas on others. Remember, don’t be a bad person who only cares about yourself. Being true to your heart and being kind and considerate are not mutually exclusive.

• Most people who impose their ideas on others do so because they are not confident. They have no sense of self-worth, so they impose their ideas on others. That’s not emotional independence, that’s rudeness.

Live Independently

Make your own decision. When your friends complain about a new movie or gossip, don’t just follow others’ opinions, have your own opinions. What do you think? How can other people’s ideas be more important than your own?

• From the little things. When you want to experience a cafe or watch a movie and you hear negative reviews from others, you can walk away. Others just say it casually, but it doesn’t mean it’s not worth going.
• Make your own decisions and speak out. Maybe someone thinks the same as you but is embarrassed to say it. The ideas you bring up may be unique.

Learn to say no. If you don’t want to do something, say no. For example, I don’t want to participate in a certain activity or do what others expect. It doesn’t matter. You should listen to your wishes, and following your heart is usually not a mistake.

• But you can’t do whatever you want. Why don’t you go to your best friend’s wedding because you don’t like weddings? Better not. Don’t want to attend company meetings because you’re lazy? Can’t. In other words, learn to weigh what you can say no to.

Learn to solve problems yourself. We now live in the age of commercialization. We have a lot of resources and it seems like we don’t have to do a lot of things ourselves. There are people repairing cars, repairing pipes, repairing computers, seeing doctors, etc. Gradually we lose a lot of our abilities and sense of responsibility. In order not to rely on others, we have to solve problems ourselves.

• Next time you feel lost, deal with it yourself. Enjoy, shop, and relax alone. If you succeed in making yourself happy, you will become increasingly independent in other areas as well.

Expect less from others. James Bond once said: “Defend yourself, because no one else will save you.” It’s a bit cynical, but it makes sense: people are selfish, and their happiness is the most important thing. So does everyone else, so there’s no need for you to feel guilty.

• Do this and you’ll be less disappointed. It’s easier to achieve when you have fewer expectations. You can also notice which people are always dismissive and those who are always trying to meet your expectations.

Get along with different friends. If you are always confined to a fixed small circle, of course, you will feel that their opinions are more important than Mount Tai. To broaden your horizons and not be swayed by the opinions of others, you should get along with more people. Expanding your network will also help you when you need it.

• People always like to make connections. When you rely too much on others, you will be influenced. So don’t make too deep of a connection. You use your discretion. The best way is to spend time with different people and divide your time evenly.

Do your own thing. You are your own master and you have to do your own thing. When you find yourself and stay true to yourself, you will truly radiate happiness from the inside out, and no one can stop you.

• There are very few people who can stay true to themselves. Because of this, you have to stay true to yourself. You are the source of your own happiness. If others can’t accept you for who you are, maybe you don’t need to be friends.

Tips

• Treat past mistakes as learning experiences, motivate yourself to become better and stronger, and don’t make the same mistakes again.